Friendship

If you can count your real friends on one hand, you have everything you need. Any more; and you’ve hit the jackpot.

I think all of us have heard these words at some stage throughout our lives;  if not something of similar effect. It’s an expression I have heard countless times, but only in recent years fully understood and believed. Like many, I have found that with my increasing age, there's been a sizeable decrease in my circle of close friends. This has not come to be, without expected feelings of loss, but on the whole, I believe it be a natural and positive shift. In my early twenties, whilst navigating my way, cluelessly might I add, into adulthood, I often looked at others and their large crew of gal pals with envy. I never struggled to make friends, yet I often felt I didn’t belong to a solid core group. I often observed my sister, and her posse and wondered why I didn’t have the same. I viewed this as a personal failing for the most part, and imagined that I would have more confidence and in subsequently, more happiness, if I managed to become part of a ‘group’. This couldn't be further from the truth. It has taken me several years, but I've come to not only accept, but take comfort from the many different companions I have, from varying walks of life. It really is quality not quantity, and I couldn't be happier with the ones I’m blessed to call my buddies. 

We've all had some friendships that are passed their sell-by date, some that are perhaps toxic, and others that are nurturing, loving and well, full of the good stuff. I suppose, differentiating between the aforementioned, is a necessary part of our development.

I often wonder is it part of the human condition, that some of us grow in different directions, take alternate paths over time, thus causing great distance between us? Similarly I consider how difficult experiences, and challenging circumstances in life can forge truly great friendships, that stand the test of time. I'm also fascinated by old childhood  friendships; these bonds are so solid, that no amount of time nor distance can tarnish them. I count myself incredibly lucky to still have some of mine. 

I fully believe that friendships need nurturing, understanding, compassion and above all else trust. That’s not to say that if a friendship doesn't have all of the above in equal measures, that it's not a valid nor worthy one. There are so many types of friendships, and each one will bringing its own value to our lives. 

Of course no relationship comes without it's challenges, and to suggest otherwise would foolish. There does come a time however, that these challenges can surpass the rewards. By rewards, I mean the joyous comfort, understanding, love and happiness we get from great mate. The unwavering support, and the incontrollable laughter. The fierce belief in one another. When these things are overshadowed by differences and conflict; it's often the time to call it a day. There was a time when I found this ending of companionship incredibly painful, and regrettable. However, I've changed my stance in recent years, and my current outlook is very different. I truly believe that some people are in your life for all of it; the good, bad and the ugly. Others will be there for a mere chapter; and that's ok too. I'm grateful for the things I've gained from all of my friendships, the ones that are no longer live, as well as the ones that are. 

"Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom” -Marcel Proust